You just kept blowing my mind I literally just cried over my last relationship because I felt like he didn’t have space for me and have been struggling with shrinking for others…can I love someone without disappearing?…that’s a question for another day, I’ll have to work through that, it’s very hard to balance, love is so consuming but when done right very peaceful and yes steady.
Oh my hun I feel you and honestly can so much relate to that feeling g because that’s exactly what I did as well and now slowly finding a way to relate to people in a healthier way. You got this x
This is soooo very good. Especially loved this : "Your joy in being single keeps you from settling out of fear. Your longing for care keeps you from hardening into self-sufficiency as a personality" i dont have the former and i feel ill become the latter. But I think having this is super key. Though this is largely from a women's perspective. I relate as a man, relationally its applicable both ways in alot of ways
You unpacked the tension i thought i was wrestling with. What you taught me is that I'm not wrestling with anything. This is a healthy destination and the two simultaneous desires are not mutually exclusive.
Exactly that! It’s f course it’s hard to live with the two contradicting feelings at the same time but that is also an experience that will teach you so much x
Absolutely loved this! I happened to make a similar point in my latest post: Knowing your worth of being loved does not cancel out your longing for love.
One should not enter a relationship to make themself “feel more worthy of being loved”, but rather to understand what they’ve been overlooking within themselves; to have a person to grow together, and along with. Because to be loved is to be understood.
I needed to read this today because I’ve been so frustrated at how the desire for companionship has been painted as some inability to be on one’s own but the two can be true at once: I like my space and still crave someone to share it with.
“Can I be open to partnership without turning it into a verdict on my worth?” Yes!
I was in a 6 year relationship turned engagement. We broke up and I was crushed. A year later I met my husband and it helped show me what a healthy relationship really is. One where you know you’re worth without them, and where it’s also amplified with them. 💕
This read was so relatable and real. Truth is, both feelings can coexist. People should be ok with expressing this more, too, without thinking they’re being desperate for a partnership. Again, loved this! 🫶🏽
This write up is so relatable. I have often felt judge ment from people when i say that I want a relationship, so much to the point that they point out to the fact that you are so independent, why?. Really beautiful how you explained the dilemma ♥️
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and I’m so happy to hear that this resonated with you. It truly is a dilemma, for me it’s more inside my own head. Definitely something I needed to learn to live with
I love how validating this writing made me feel. A-lot of us struggle with loneliness.. society sees it as a weakness, deeming it “needy” or whatnot. Very black and white but taking that first step to acknowledging the fact that two truths can exist at the same time can be profoundly healing…
I am so happy to hear that this resonated with you. And I couldn’t agree more! Social media can feel quite brutal in that sense but the truth is that it is now weak to want care xx
would love to find this balance someday, until now i am the one who is in charge of everything in my life, but would love to be in that place of saying, i cant today i leave that decision to you, and if you really cant do anything today thats alright too.
exactly that! it’s always about the balance, being flexible and learning in the way. whether you are in a relationship or not, it’s going to be a life long process
I feel like I'm struggling with this exact balance right now, and I've been shaming myself for my feelings. I love these lines though: Your joy in being single keeps you from settling out of fear. Your longing for care keeps you from hardening into self-sufficiency as a personality.
The phrase solo performance of competence captures the exhaustion underneath this longing perfectly. I loved the wine bottle detail because interdependence is often less about grand rescue and more about someone noticing the cork before you have to turn it into a personal development exercise. Wanting that ordinary relief without surrendering your agency feels like a much richer definition of being held.
Loving freedom while also loving its container is such a tricky balance. Loved this!
Couldn’t agree more! So happy you enjoyed the read
You just kept blowing my mind I literally just cried over my last relationship because I felt like he didn’t have space for me and have been struggling with shrinking for others…can I love someone without disappearing?…that’s a question for another day, I’ll have to work through that, it’s very hard to balance, love is so consuming but when done right very peaceful and yes steady.
Oh my hun I feel you and honestly can so much relate to that feeling g because that’s exactly what I did as well and now slowly finding a way to relate to people in a healthier way. You got this x
This is soooo very good. Especially loved this : "Your joy in being single keeps you from settling out of fear. Your longing for care keeps you from hardening into self-sufficiency as a personality" i dont have the former and i feel ill become the latter. But I think having this is super key. Though this is largely from a women's perspective. I relate as a man, relationally its applicable both ways in alot of ways
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It absolutely is from a women’s issue perspective but I’m happy to hear it resonated with you as well
I feel so unequivocally and categorically seen.
Omg thank you so much for sharing! Means a lot to hear that this resonated with you x
You unpacked the tension i thought i was wrestling with. What you taught me is that I'm not wrestling with anything. This is a healthy destination and the two simultaneous desires are not mutually exclusive.
Exactly that! It’s f course it’s hard to live with the two contradicting feelings at the same time but that is also an experience that will teach you so much x
Absolutely loved this! I happened to make a similar point in my latest post: Knowing your worth of being loved does not cancel out your longing for love.
One should not enter a relationship to make themself “feel more worthy of being loved”, but rather to understand what they’ve been overlooking within themselves; to have a person to grow together, and along with. Because to be loved is to be understood.
I couldn’t agree more! Thank you for sharing x
I needed to read this today because I’ve been so frustrated at how the desire for companionship has been painted as some inability to be on one’s own but the two can be true at once: I like my space and still crave someone to share it with.
Exactly that! Can relate! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts
This was such a beautiful read. I've been thinking about what I would want in a future relationship so it hit home. 💌
Thank youu, I’m so happy this resonated with you
“Can I be open to partnership without turning it into a verdict on my worth?” Yes!
I was in a 6 year relationship turned engagement. We broke up and I was crushed. A year later I met my husband and it helped show me what a healthy relationship really is. One where you know you’re worth without them, and where it’s also amplified with them. 💕
Wow I truly love to hear that! Thank you for sharing x
“Longing for a relationship that feels collaborative” - that right there!
🩷🩷🩷
This read was so relatable and real. Truth is, both feelings can coexist. People should be ok with expressing this more, too, without thinking they’re being desperate for a partnership. Again, loved this! 🫶🏽
I couldn’t agree more! I’m so happy that this resonated and thank you for sharing your thoughts.
This write up is so relatable. I have often felt judge ment from people when i say that I want a relationship, so much to the point that they point out to the fact that you are so independent, why?. Really beautiful how you explained the dilemma ♥️
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and I’m so happy to hear that this resonated with you. It truly is a dilemma, for me it’s more inside my own head. Definitely something I needed to learn to live with
I love how validating this writing made me feel. A-lot of us struggle with loneliness.. society sees it as a weakness, deeming it “needy” or whatnot. Very black and white but taking that first step to acknowledging the fact that two truths can exist at the same time can be profoundly healing…
I am so happy to hear that this resonated with you. And I couldn’t agree more! Social media can feel quite brutal in that sense but the truth is that it is now weak to want care xx
i feel soo seen by this post! loved it!!!
Thank you so much! It makes me so happy to hear that x
would love to find this balance someday, until now i am the one who is in charge of everything in my life, but would love to be in that place of saying, i cant today i leave that decision to you, and if you really cant do anything today thats alright too.
exactly that! it’s always about the balance, being flexible and learning in the way. whether you are in a relationship or not, it’s going to be a life long process
I feel like I'm struggling with this exact balance right now, and I've been shaming myself for my feelings. I love these lines though: Your joy in being single keeps you from settling out of fear. Your longing for care keeps you from hardening into self-sufficiency as a personality.
Thank you for your beautiful words.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I’m so happy to hear this resonated with you x
The phrase solo performance of competence captures the exhaustion underneath this longing perfectly. I loved the wine bottle detail because interdependence is often less about grand rescue and more about someone noticing the cork before you have to turn it into a personal development exercise. Wanting that ordinary relief without surrendering your agency feels like a much richer definition of being held.
Wow thank you so much for sharing this! So well said and I couldn’t agree more x